Various Trials

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4 ESV

I recently went to a social gathering where I felt like I didn’t portray myself in the best light. I’m always very direct and it’s hard to gauge how to tone it down, especially with topics I’m very passionate about. I’m also an introvert so I lose energy quickly when I’m in large groups of people, which affects my ability to filter myself. As I reflect on these traits, it’s easy to come up with reasons to excuse things I may say or decide that I’m too abrupt to socialize with others and tell myself I should just stay home in the future.

I know I’m not the only one who wrestles with their personality. Sometimes it feels like I can never quite master myself, no matter how many personality books I read. With all the information I’ve gathered, I feel like I should be an expert on how I interact with others and should have all the tools I need to overcome my “problem areas.” But that is not the reality. I struggle with the same things over and over again. I forget to filter and say things that catch others off guard. It’s funny how in these times I also forget that God is with me and will help me with “just being myself.” His design of me has a purpose and isn’t meant to make me feel self-conscious at parties. It is an opportunity to draw near to Him and rely on Him to be perfect in my weaknesses.

Large gatherings are a regular occurrence in life. There will be times when I will communicate well and there will be others when I’d like a do over. My personality probably won’t change a lot before the next one, but I don’t have to dread social events or pretend to be someone I’m not. I can seek God for help and trust that He will give me wisdom so that I can count it joy when I meet trials of various kinds.