No Man is an Island

Recently, I was listening to I Am A Rock by Simon & Garfunkel. Folk music has a peaceful quality to it and the classics seem to be more so because of their nostalgia. Although the song is quite familiar to me and its melody peppy, the sadness of the lyrics really struck me.

I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain
I am a rock
I am an island

As an introvert, I can completely relate to the idea of wanting to be alone. As a person who has been hurt by friendship gone sour, I have built walls and a fortress to protect myself from experiencing that kind of pain again. It’s the reason I have this song in my playlist. But over the past few years, while my heart was protected, the sadness of loneliness grew into something much larger than my protective island and my heart was no longer the only thing that was walled in.

I realized that I needed to make some changes or I would become a permanent prisoner in my own fortified city. It took years for me to realize that was the “what” that was wrong with me. Locking up my heart prevented me from fully experiencing life and completely engaging in my relationship with Jesus. Once I made this realization, it was not an easy task to tear down the walls. I was extraordinarily effective in constructing a stronghold but the demo had to be careful so as not to destroy my extremely fragile heart. Brick by brick the walls of my fortress have come down through prayer, tears, conversations, recovery groups, bucking up and dealing with it, maturing, and a bunch of other things, but most of all, through the love of God.

I have another song in my playlist. It’s by Tenth Avenue North. I listen to it more frequently than Simon & Garfunkel. They sing:

No man is an island, we can be found

No man is an island, let your guard down!

You don't have to fight me, I am for you

We're not meant to live this life alone!

I still have a lot of demolition left on my fortress. And as I live this life, I’ll be tempted to reconstruct the walls that I’ve torn down. When those temptations come, I remember No Man is an Island and I’m not meant to live in isolation.